fucking forks!

Cutlery has declared war against me, specifically my feet.  And by cutlery, I mean forks...so far.  

The first incident happened almost two months ago.  It was a normal day at work and then I dropped a salad fork.  Tines down.  You see, some of our salad forks are actually slightly sharpened at the end of the tines.  So imagine a miniature (dirty) pitchfork plummeting toward my perfectly pedicured toes during the middle of a busy shift.  

It hurt.  Not like a bitch, but enough.  I gasped and I kept moving because I had no option.  It was busy.  I looked down at my feet and there was blood.  A significant amount of blood.  And no option to slow down.  

That's a brief summation of the actual event.  I had no choice but to be brief as I had 3 new tables to greet and absolutely no assistance.  I slapped a bandaid on and cleaned it later.  For those of you not in the service industry, when your server goes missing for what you imagine is half an hour, just keep in consideration that maybe she's going pee or just possibly attending to a pitchfork wound.  So, basically, fuck off and relax.

I still have two tiny tine-hole scars in my fourth toe.

And then NYE happened.  

I was merrily going about my business and then POW!  

Instant pain.  I chucked something against the wall in reflex and I believe screamed an obscenity.  This time it was unexpected.  (Not that I expected the first incident, but at least I could watch it unfold in slo-mo before me.  Not the same wtf moment.)

Then I looked down.  There in the rubber kitchen mat, stuck propped up at a 40 degree angle, was a dinner fork.  It was like a medieval style weapon set out to guard the moat and waiting for approaching enemies.

Like my foot.

the pink glittery elephant

I have breaking news.  There was regretfully a Christmas casualty today.  I was taking down the tree.  Simple enough, right?  It's well past New Year's.  It needed to happen.  And then...

It all happened in the blink of an eye.  (No cliché intended.)  Actually no, I take that back.  It was more like slowmo.  Tragic, but inevitable.  I'd like to tell you that it was a family heirloom.  Or super expensive and exotic.  Truth be told, most of the Christmas ornaments that I've collected over the years remain in Michigan.  I guess it was never worth it to transport them across a continent and an ocean, especially since we didn't even have a Christmas tree until last year.  The handful of actual ornaments I have here mean a lot, I suppose.  At least compared to the generic shatter-proof Walmart fill-ins (some of which I've managed to pathetically personalize in the cheapest of creative means) that occupy the rest of the branches.  Mike and I have already created a tradition in which we annually purchase our ornament for the year.  Plus, I have always added certain items that speak to me, for whatever reason, to my collection.  He actually doesn't seem to grasp this yet.  Then again, he doesn't know what Christmas treasures are stored in Michigan just waiting to adorn our future (and hopefully real) tree someday.  But when we surveilled the aisles of Pier 1 earlier last month I could not help myself.  And, to my benefit, he watched that reaction.

It was a little pink glittery elephant.

I have no explanation as to why a pink glittery elephant ornament grabbed my attention so vehemently, but I saw it and wanted it and Mike knew there was no argument to be made.  And secretly, I think he liked it too.  So although we agreed that it was not "our" ornament for the season, it was going on the tree.  And there it stayed until today.

I was careful.  I remember reminding myself to be careful.  And then there was tinsel.  It snagged somehow and I was caught off guard.  It flung a little bit.  I think I bobbled it for a moment, keeping my hopes up and then CRASH out of nowhere.  Beyond repair.  My little pink elephant, precious even though bought at Pier 1 under $10.

In all honesty, I didn't realize how attached I was until it's face was smashed into a thousand glittery pieces.  I was heartbroken.  I broke the news via text to Mike and apparently he was attached as well.

The hunt has been on all day.  There are none left on the island so I think I might get one shipped from Kona.  It says online that they have 19 available.  

When initiating my search I told the Pier 1 employees that I had to replace it cause my 3 year old daughter had picked it out.  She apparently loves elephants and her favorite color is pink.  I lied cause I'm a grown woman that felt silly trying to desperately search for an ornament that is $1.68 on clearance.  And I also secretly enjoyed pretending that I had that little girl that loves elephants and the color pink.

Let's keep our fingers crossed for Kona to come through.

And for someday having a 3 year old daughter like that.

what a difference a year makes...

I have officially been spoiled rotten by my man in 2013.  

Well, at least by my standards.  You have to keep in mind that this is coming from a girl whose previous relationships were...well, less than stellar.  A hot date in my early twenties was Wendy's.  Or, for special occasions, TGIFriday's.  Yes, I was a lucky lucky girl.  

And now I have someone who is just as generous as I am.  Not that I'm simplifying it to that.  I just have a very different life now as opposed to an impoverished college student dating an impoverished college student, both of which were plugging along in the industry.  (Among other unimpressive relationships that don't even enter on the radar.)  Blatantly put, Mike and I worked very hard to be where we are, which is a much better place than where we struggled to be out of over a year ago.  

I can now write freely.  Literally.  My archaic laptop is an item of the past.  I am now mobile and can blog where I want and do so unobtrusively.

2014 will be amazing in so many ways.  We've been members of 24 hour fitness for almost a month now.  Surprisingly, I was the main driving force behind that one.  Big adult life decisions!  I believe I've actually openly proclaimed that I would never be a "gym person" and now I find myself SLOWLY on the way to becoming one.  What can I say, the last couple years have lead me to make several healthy decisions in many ways.  And reinvigorating that competitive nature within has kinda done wonders.  

I'm finally excited for life and where things will take us.  Our relationship has been through some pretty unorthodox things, but maybe that's why we are where we are.  

 

You and me baby, until the wheels fall off.

if you build it, she will come

I'm watching Field of Dreams, which is always a classic despite having Kevin Costner in it, and I really want my own baseball field. In my backyard. How awesome would that be??? Okay, so I haven't picked up a glove in years, but mostly because I left it in Michigan. But I would never get bored. And let's face it, I'd probably be skinnier.

I just love that it's about the love of the game though. I miss feeling that. "The sounds, the smells...," as Shoeless Joe says.

i'd write my own jungle book!

My traveling aspirations have remained the same for years: 1. I will go to Ireland before I die. And, God willing, if I can afford to be any more particular than that, I would like to be there more than a week. And possibly hit Scotland up as well. They are my people too, apparently even more so than the Irish. 2. Greece fascinates me, Santorini specifically. I also think it would make a fascinating and exotic honeymoon. 3. And despite myself, I would love to traipse around Germany and/or Austria. If not, just to practice my German. And drink beer. And wear lederhosen while visiting Neuschwanstein.

Granted, if I had unlimited funds I would travel the world. No limits. Fjords in Norway...authentic ramen and sushi in Japan...quaint French countryside...the streets of Rio de Janiero...poutine in Quebec...Prague...New Zealand...Morocco...Cairo...Hong Kong...Singapore...

If all that doesn't happen, I will still die happy. But I'd like to officially add India as #4 on my list. For some reason, the word "fascinate" comes to mind again, but in a different way. I am devoutly Christian, but India has a certain spirituality (organized religion aside) that speaks to all. The food would be endlessly exciting. And who doesn't love elephants and monkeys???

makin babies

My sister messaged me this morning telling me she had a very vivid dream in which I was pregnant. And then proceeded to ask me if there was anything that I needed to tell her.

Uhhhhh...

I know I'm 31 years old and my biological clock is a tickin, but now my pregnancy dreams have graduated from my subconscious to my sister's?

Mike just needs to make an honest woman out of me already so we can get on with makin the babies.

edumacation

Several years ago, shortly before I moved to Hawaii, I can remember being in the Starbucks on Hall Road having a discussion with my Mother over coffee and a crossword. (I have many fond memories of that Starbucks.) She used the phrase "if you go back to school" and I was deeply offended. You see, it was never a question for me. Of course I was going to go back to grad school, it was just a matter of when I would be able to afford it.

And then life happened.

Here I am, so many years later and thousands of miles away still wrestling with the same dilemma. I still want it. And while, on a daily basis, I doubt if that's in the cards for me, I still believe that's what I'm meant to be doing. I've made this so entirely clear to Mike that I now realize that once the moment where a Master's degree is a possibility for me presents itself I may have no idea what I want to do.

It's never as easy as it being about what I want to do. And there's a certain amount of fear involved. I'm self aware enough to know that. I've already spent how many tens of thousands of dollars on a degree, and a good degree at that, and how many thousands more in student loans that I'm still paying off...and for what? What if I choose the wrong program and find myself in the same situation?

I've been told by multiple sources that a graduate degree does the opposite of what your bachelor's does, meaning it opens more doors and therefore jobs for you rather than limiting you. But how do I know? How do I know what fields will be hiring? What careers pay well? And, more importantly, what job will fulfill me professionally?