snuggles

It's a strange life I lead right now. My desperate search for employment during the afternoon is balanced by the epitome of domesticity in the evening. It's like the whole Clark Kent/Superman dichotomy. I'm a driven and self-sufficient waitress by day, scouring all of Waikiki with resumes in hand, but by nightfall I am SuperHousewife(!!!). The cooking and cleaning are the least I can do with all this time on my hands. It's not as though I have the money to go out and play. And avoiding the boredom is a number one priority. Stir crazy doesn't even begin to define it. So cleaning is a decent alternative.

Funny how things have changed in the last two months. While I was miserable before because of life with da kine (I hate referring to ex's by name. My ex of four and a half years is still identified as "what's-his-face" in my circle of friends. I thought it would be appropriate if this latest moniker had a Hawaiian twist.) the rest of my life was stable and in control. In fact, I used everything else in my life to escape. Now I find myself in what has already become the most successful relationship of my adult life (knock on wood...not that previous relationships offer that much competition) and everything else has gone to shit. No exaggeration. Just when things seem bad, my Mom calls telling me my Grandma has two weeks to live...at most. Come on! Give a girl a break.

I'm not complaining. I've generally had it easy. And it's better than having absolutely everything in life suck. But it's dangerous. Avoiding your shitty living situation by working extra shifts makes you money, money you can use to go out with friends. Or more ideally, but not as satisfying, money you can use to save up and move on with. Avoiding your life falling apart by staying in bed to snuggle with your amazing boyfriend, while seemingly the only option at the time, does not actually accomplish anything.