Friday, April 29, 2011

a letter: dear taxi man from this evening

You are officially the worst cab driver I have ever had. Upon realizing your confusion after informing you of my destination, I gave you clear instructions as to your next two turns. Very simple. There was a reason why I gave those instructions...so I could get home faster and, therefore, cheaper. Instead, you decided to ignore me and take the freaking long way, thus increasing my fare and decreasing your tip. I'm not along for a joy ride, buddy. I'm tired and cranky after a double. Listen to the directions next time.

After making it on to Keeaumoku you insisted on driving 20mph and stopping for every red light you could manage to locate. Do you think you're being sly? You think I won't notice? Do you need me to show you how the gas pedal works?

And then when crossing the overpass you get in the left lane and turn your blinker on, as if we're getting on the H-1. Honestly, do you even have your driver's license? What part of "Makiki" don't you understand? It was a simple mile away, why did you think we'd be getting on the freeway?

Where did you think we were going???

I'm sorry I gave you a crappy tip, but you really suck. Perhaps you should get a new job.

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