life is an awfully big adventure

I really need to get out of this funk, or this state, if I ever want to blog consistently again. Okay, perhaps that's a tad extreme. I mean, I do love Hawaii. Leaving here would not be nearly as easy as I make it out to be, especially because it's so hard to make it back. And we do have memories here.

I'm just ready for change in my life. I'm ready for another adventure. And I'm excited for Mike and I to have that adventure together. In the meantime it's work work work, and while I enjoy my job (if only for my coworkers) it's not enough to fulfill me. I think we can have a better life together somewhere else. It's just a struggle to have patience as we try to make that happen.

And that just removes any desire I have to write. Instead I just internalize lol.

Very healthy, I know.

nanowrimo has come and gone once again

It's really hard to write, whether it's just a blog or something more, when you're having a month or more long fit of self-loathing. Every word I put on a page just seems ridiculous and inadequate, as though I'm pretending I even have a right to be writing it in the first place. Perhaps if I have another glass of wine not only will the words will come spilling forth, but I'll actually approve of them.

Or maybe I'll just get drunk and fall asleep with my clothes on.