feels like forever

I moved to Hawaii three years ago today. That's all. I don't know if it's merely a fact or something to really dwell on, but there it is...

snownami 2011

Totally jealous of ThunderSnow 2011!! Extreme weather in any way, shape, or form excites me. I've wanted to be a tornado chaser since high school, although I'm almost certain I would die. I miss me a good old-fashioned thunderstorm, so the broadcast of a huge thundersnow??? I've been making everyone text me live pictures. It probably won't live up to expectations, as weather forecasts never do, but I'm guessing 10 inches to a foot.



And yet, why is the midwest acting like it's another y2k? All the grocery stores are running out of the necessities: milk, bread, eggs, , banana, oj, etc... It's not a month long storm people! School will be canceled, roads will suck, maybe some minor power outages, but you live in Michigan! We're supposed to handle this shit with a cocky dismissal and four wheel drive. Get a grip.

okole is hawaiian for butt

Because if I were going to start my own business the first concept that would come to my mind would be bidets!



It's just too funny and it's always parked on my street. Mr. Bidet apparently lives in an apartment right by me. Hell, he could be my next door neighbor that owns two chihuahuas and smokes a lot of weed.

But I don't think he is...

there's no place like home

I visited home for Christmas. My first time back since moving three years ago. Notice how I refer to Michigan as home. That's no slip of the tongue. Not to do Hawaii an injustice, but I've always felt tentative here and I've finally realized that's no way to live life. It's not really something that's going to change either. Hell, I still live partially out of my suitcase. I hold off on buying expensive bulky items (furniture, car, etc...) because of the unspoken knowledge that I'll just have to sell it or ship it when I get fed up and move back. The future constantly consumes me as I get older and what I see of my life here, I don't like.

For two weeks I was again immersed in my own world, feeling as though the last three years on this rock have been some sort of alternate reality. Not dreamlike, but just like I pushed pause on my Michigan life to go live another one, only to return and hit play. And when I did, I felt as if I found the me that got left behind three years ago. To avoid cheesy cliches I won't say I found myself, but there is an assured confidence and comfort that comes along with being surrounded by your own history. I've certainly been no wallflower here in Hawaii, but the majority of the time I present the generic version of myself for others. Edit the quirks, check the opinions, make sure conversation is relevant. Back home, I have the balls to throw myself out there, judgment be damned.

As my flight approached the city lights of Honolulu earlier this month, I realized the dread I felt in line at security in Detroit's airport was not merely due to a reluctance to say goodbye to my parents...again. It was a distinct dread of returning back to my life here. And it's only getting worse. There is something life-affirming in a realization so strong. I pity those who complacently go through life. Knowing what I need and want to do is comforting and gives purpose, even if making it happen won't be easy. It may suck but at least I'm not lost.

match.com can suck donkey balls

There's a commercial on TV right now for one of those online dating sites boasting all the "real" couples that they've created. I get depressed when watching it. The couples are pictured doing all sorts of things. Strolling the beach and getting knocked around by the ocean, dating outside, kissing underwater in a pool. Throw in some snorkeling, horseback riding, and salsa dancing and you're good.

So while watching this commercial I get uncomfortable. My relationship isn't bad. I understand why these commercials are designed. It's like holding your favorite romantic comedy as your ideal relationship standard. But the glaring fact that he doesn't want to do ANYTHING EVER is kind of a killjoy. I understand that the majority of life's moments aren't going to involve skydiving or adrenaline of any kind. There's a nice simplicity in that, but I personally don't love the TV and couch that much. I like a little adventure.

While watching this commercial they sell me for just a second. That maybe my love isn't as good cause I'm not hiking a mountain everyday.

Yet when he's watching he gets all romantic and snuggly. Our reaction is like night and day. He's all proud of me, like we've got something even better. But why can't he just get motivated to get off his ass once in a while? I've expressed my desire to get to the beach in the last month after we moved, and yet nothing. I know he works so much right now and I don't want my appreciation for that to be lost, but isn't that all the more reason to live?

singapore is nice this time of year

I apologize. There really is no excuse for neglecting you, so I'm just going to lie and tell you I spent the last month in Singapore. A military table left me two Singaporean dollars in their tip so I thought it would be a ridiculous waste not to travel there to use it. Okay, so half of that is true. You decide which half.

But I digress...

A lot has happened in a month. I've decided to go back to school to get my Master's...in nursing. Random? Maybe, but not for those that have been privy to my inner musings. Difficult? Probably, but I am long overdue for an academic challenge. The right choice? I think so? As with most of life, it's a bit of a gamble, but I think I'll like it and I know it'll be worth the effort and money. So, why the hell not?

Despite a three week reprieve from the perpetually naked Amazonian roommate (who visited her Viking ancestors in the lovely state of Minnesota), the living situation has continued to decline. Within hours of her return to Hawaii I saw her naked ass as I walked down the hall to the bathroom. When you're 6 feet tall you should not be wearing little sundresses made to fit an 13 year old schoolgirl. And you should certainly not go commando in them. And, by all means, if you are, please keep your door closed when you're going to bend over and grab something off the floor.

She's still not working, which is somewhat due to a miscommunication with management, but mostly because she's lazy and her parents will give her money. I wouldn't care other than the fact that she's now constantly home, which forces me to either hide in the room or leave the house. I just don't want to see that much of her (in more ways than one). On top of that, they've both been off this week and they had a friend in town. So the living room has been off limits because they've done nothing but sit in front of the TV. Which is fine, it is their TV. But it means that on all three of my days off (and two for the boyfriend), we've been hibernating in our room...all day long.

The bottom line is, I need my own place.

So today we applied for one. It's the same amount we're paying right now, which was not the original plan, but at this point it'll be worth it just to be out.

Cross your fingers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'd rather watch it's always sunny

So much to write about, but no desire to do so.