As I've discussed here before, I have a third roommate who is essentially the bane of my existence (obviously excluding all male of the species). Most, if not all, of my reasons for being so annoyed are valid.
For discretionary purposes let's refer to crazy roommate as Mary Jane.
Mary Jane never leaves the apartment. I'm not saying she's a homebody. I'm a homebody. I mean she's a hermit. She leaves for 5 minutes to go to the store and it feels like there should be a national holiday dedicated to the glorious occasion. There is no reprieve! She never cleans. I still use Marya's bathroom, not out of laziness, but I'm not going to clean the bathroom by myself to have her nasty ass trash it. She's lived here for almost a year and either goes without tp or steals it out of the other bathroom. She's high 24-7. I am not against a little herb, but she is the epitome of a pothead. She eats all our food without replenishing. She talks while you're watching TV. She's unemployed, for reasons unknown to me, and does nothing but burn illegal DVDs and play video games. She lives in the closet, yet I still can't move into my half of the bedroom even though I'm paying more in rent. (She can't even pay her pittance on time.) She tries to accommodate me by leaving a fraction of the closet for hanging my clothes (and acted offended when I immediately didn't take her up on this offer), yet I can never get to these belongings without feeling awkward. Basically I can't use the bedroom period without feeling awkward, although I did finally make my bed last week out of desperation. I have yet to sleep in it. I've lived here for almost three months now.
My annoyance is heightened since I've began dating someone. His living situation does not allow for visitors, so we are left dealing with my situation. Living with two others, no matter the size of the apartment or sleeping arrangements, limits privacy to begin with. Sleeping on the couch doesn't fly when you're sharing it. This is essentially the reason I made my bed, but I still can't have "alone time" with somebody sleeping in the closet. Yes, she sleeps in the closet. When I say she lives there, I mean it. Her bed holds her laundry. There are times when I realize the closet door is closed and I haven't seen her for days. I've never smelled death, but I've wondered what I would do if I smelled something funky. (Probably make Marya search for the corpse.)
This is the biggest cockblock I have ever faced!
Today I looked forward to a day of relaxation. By 2pm I felt the immediate need to escape the apartment merely because of her. My mother always said I'm easily annoyed, but I know that's not the case here. Mary Jane was on the phone complaining, as usual. (She makes herself out to be a victim of her own drug-driven existence. One day she was on the verge of tears because she didn't have $2 for bus fare in order to obtain her food stamps. That was another day I had to flee the apartment in fear of her bumming money off me. It's not that I'm cheap. I just have no pity for her and I was honestly more afraid of hitting her than anything.) When I use the phone I am discrete. If I'm having a serious or private conversation, or perhaps one that might become more intense or involve yelling, I'll go onto the lanai. This is for my own privacy and consideration for those around me. She just strolls around the entire apartment without any concern for anyone else. Excuse me, but I don't need to hear about your inability to feed yourself, especially while I'm watching Scrubs. I'm not taking pity on you. I'm not going to give you food or money. We are not BFFs. You're making me want to punch you.
The conversation today began with complaining about her disability claim (she's clearly not disabled) but made it's way quickly to politics and the media. Mary Jane is 32. (Thus only making her lifestyle all the more reprehensible.) She's clearly been around long enough to have a respectable opinion about politics. She's technology savvy enough to understand how the media handles politics. And she acts as though she's extremely aware and competent about all this. Yet during her rant I hear her discuss how she actually tuned in to FOX News for their coverage of Obama's speech and was appalled at how anti-Obama they were. "They really were like ripping him apart." And yes, she says "like" at least a dozen times a minute as if she's the lead cheerleader from your local high school.
Honey, where has your ignorant ass been when you claim to follow the media's coverage of politics? FOX has a conservative bias just as MSNBC has a liberal one. Everyone knows this. Why are you acting appalled?
She then went on to say, "And that Hannity Colmes guy is a fucking moron." No sweet tits, you're a fucking moron. His name isn't Hannity Colmes, just Sean Hannity. Colmes was the name of his former liberal counterpart. But yes, Hannity is a fucking moron. You two should have a lot in common. Perhaps this is a more forgivable mistake, but by that point I was so aggravated that I knew I had to leave. Before I left I heard the conversation venture into religion, another supposedly taboo subject. I left sans makeup in order to go down to Deeps and drink. I had no intention of drinking today, but Mary Jane began what became a day that makes getting drunk necessary.
That's it for now. I am off to finish my bottle of wine.
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