a new meaning to the phrase "coming out of the closet"

As I've discussed here before, I have a third roommate who is essentially the bane of my existence (obviously excluding all male of the species). Most, if not all, of my reasons for being so annoyed are valid.

For discretionary purposes let's refer to crazy roommate as Mary Jane.

Mary Jane never leaves the apartment. I'm not saying she's a homebody. I'm a homebody. I mean she's a hermit. She leaves for 5 minutes to go to the store and it feels like there should be a national holiday dedicated to the glorious occasion. There is no reprieve! She never cleans. I still use Marya's bathroom, not out of laziness, but I'm not going to clean the bathroom by myself to have her nasty ass trash it. She's lived here for almost a year and either goes without tp or steals it out of the other bathroom. She's high 24-7. I am not against a little herb, but she is the epitome of a pothead. She eats all our food without replenishing. She talks while you're watching TV. She's unemployed, for reasons unknown to me, and does nothing but burn illegal DVDs and play video games. She lives in the closet, yet I still can't move into my half of the bedroom even though I'm paying more in rent. (She can't even pay her pittance on time.) She tries to accommodate me by leaving a fraction of the closet for hanging my clothes (and acted offended when I immediately didn't take her up on this offer), yet I can never get to these belongings without feeling awkward. Basically I can't use the bedroom period without feeling awkward, although I did finally make my bed last week out of desperation. I have yet to sleep in it. I've lived here for almost three months now.

My annoyance is heightened since I've began dating someone. His living situation does not allow for visitors, so we are left dealing with my situation. Living with two others, no matter the size of the apartment or sleeping arrangements, limits privacy to begin with. Sleeping on the couch doesn't fly when you're sharing it. This is essentially the reason I made my bed, but I still can't have "alone time" with somebody sleeping in the closet. Yes, she sleeps in the closet. When I say she lives there, I mean it. Her bed holds her laundry. There are times when I realize the closet door is closed and I haven't seen her for days. I've never smelled death, but I've wondered what I would do if I smelled something funky. (Probably make Marya search for the corpse.)

This is the biggest cockblock I have ever faced!

Today I looked forward to a day of relaxation. By 2pm I felt the immediate need to escape the apartment merely because of her. My mother always said I'm easily annoyed, but I know that's not the case here. Mary Jane was on the phone complaining, as usual. (She makes herself out to be a victim of her own drug-driven existence. One day she was on the verge of tears because she didn't have $2 for bus fare in order to obtain her food stamps. That was another day I had to flee the apartment in fear of her bumming money off me. It's not that I'm cheap. I just have no pity for her and I was honestly more afraid of hitting her than anything.) When I use the phone I am discrete. If I'm having a serious or private conversation, or perhaps one that might become more intense or involve yelling, I'll go onto the lanai. This is for my own privacy and consideration for those around me. She just strolls around the entire apartment without any concern for anyone else. Excuse me, but I don't need to hear about your inability to feed yourself, especially while I'm watching Scrubs. I'm not taking pity on you. I'm not going to give you food or money. We are not BFFs. You're making me want to punch you.

The conversation today began with complaining about her disability claim (she's clearly not disabled) but made it's way quickly to politics and the media. Mary Jane is 32. (Thus only making her lifestyle all the more reprehensible.) She's clearly been around long enough to have a respectable opinion about politics. She's technology savvy enough to understand how the media handles politics. And she acts as though she's extremely aware and competent about all this. Yet during her rant I hear her discuss how she actually tuned in to FOX News for their coverage of Obama's speech and was appalled at how anti-Obama they were. "They really were like ripping him apart." And yes, she says "like" at least a dozen times a minute as if she's the lead cheerleader from your local high school.

Honey, where has your ignorant ass been when you claim to follow the media's coverage of politics? FOX has a conservative bias just as MSNBC has a liberal one. Everyone knows this. Why are you acting appalled?

She then went on to say, "And that Hannity Colmes guy is a fucking moron." No sweet tits, you're a fucking moron. His name isn't Hannity Colmes, just Sean Hannity. Colmes was the name of his former liberal counterpart. But yes, Hannity is a fucking moron. You two should have a lot in common. Perhaps this is a more forgivable mistake, but by that point I was so aggravated that I knew I had to leave. Before I left I heard the conversation venture into religion, another supposedly taboo subject. I left sans makeup in order to go down to Deeps and drink. I had no intention of drinking today, but Mary Jane began what became a day that makes getting drunk necessary.

That's it for now. I am off to finish my bottle of wine.

america the beautiful

After eight long years, the reign of Bush is over. While I regret the loss of comedic fodder this change brings, I am hopeful and excited about our country's future...and ultimately, my future. Normally I hate change. I never adjust well. However, even my own reluctant self can recognize that it is time.

I am not going to blindly romanticize Obama's presidency like so many other Americans seem to be well on their way to doing. He is not a god. Our economy is not going to miraculously do a 180 today. Cancer is not going to suddenly cure itself. I may be hopeful, but I am still a realist. He admitted himself that mistakes would probably be made. He is human. And although staunch Republicans will most likely label Obama's confession as nothing but a disclaimer, just to cover his ass should something the magnitude of the WMD debacle occur under his watch, I believe he too is just trying to inject a morsel of realism into America. Bottom line? There is no easy fix. The good news? Now we have hope.

Hope is miraculous.

Apparently Republicans (okay, only the ignorant ones who feel the need to broadcast their opinions to the masses and condemn those with different ideas...so, you know, 90% of them...okay, I kid, I kid) aren't familiar with hope. I find it futile and redundant to rant about political differences. There are a few points I'd like to make though.

Republicans are a disgustingly negative group (obvious generalization). Their response to this would be to paint Democrats as unrealistic hippies with their heads in the clouds. Then so be it. I don't believe I'm unrealistic, but I am optimistic. Is that so bad? Isn't that the only option right now. What's the point in being all woe-is-me-I-lost-my-tail-again about the economy?

Democrats were deemed classless for booing Bush when he appeared at the inauguration. Perhaps it didn't exhibit the flawless manners our mothers sent us out into this world with, but those matter little after enduring eight long years of Bush. Mature? No, but well deserved. Although I won't say the entire nation was unwavering in their support of him, especially later on in his presidency, I do think that we all wished him success. How could we not? Whether we liked it or not, he was our president. Our success was dependent on him. Yet self-righteous Republicans can't do so much as hope the best for Obama and he has barely even started his term. This is the country you live in. Isn't it against your best interest to wish the worst for him? If you think I'm making this up just check out Rush Limbaugh's remarks of late. IT'S ONLY BEEN DAYS SINCE HE WAS SWORN IN! And Limbaugh specifically hopes Obama crashes and burns.

Please, please, please put your differences aside. Everyone is aware of where each side stands. No one is asking you to agree with everything Obama has to say, not even Democrats should feel obligated to do that. There is no reason to divide ourselves though. The current administration doesn't want everyone brainwashed to be on their team, but they do want some bipartisan efforts to be made. If we are going to mend our country, we need to do it together.