booyah

Lucy goes to the vet and doesn't pee anymore.

life is an awfully big adventure

I really need to get out of this funk, or this state, if I ever want to blog consistently again. Okay, perhaps that's a tad extreme. I mean, I do love Hawaii. Leaving here would not be nearly as easy as I make it out to be, especially because it's so hard to make it back. And we do have memories here.

I'm just ready for change in my life. I'm ready for another adventure. And I'm excited for Mike and I to have that adventure together. In the meantime it's work work work, and while I enjoy my job (if only for my coworkers) it's not enough to fulfill me. I think we can have a better life together somewhere else. It's just a struggle to have patience as we try to make that happen.

And that just removes any desire I have to write. Instead I just internalize lol.

Very healthy, I know.

olympic rant

In my opinion, the only event worth watching during the summer Olympics is women's gymnastics. (Just as the only one worth watching during the winter Olympics is ice skating.) Sure diving is mildly interesting for a few minutes, but I don't get into it. Everybody has their own tastes. Some watch each and every event. Some don't see the point in watching at all. But I still remember the magnificent seven of '96 and had heard the stories of Mary Lou Retton and Nadia Comaneci. These inspirational and emotional counts made quite the impression on me at a very impressionable age.

That being said, gymnastics judges have become straight up assholes. I obviously understand the need for deductions. And I understand that life is full of changes, therefore I can't complain about the change in scoring. But is it just me, or do they all seem to have a stick up their butt now? Almost like they want the athletes to fail?

a lot of change will do you good

Last year sucked, with the exception of finding the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but this year has slowly been looking up. Taking that into account, I am now in the position to view the future a little more hopefully. Not that I'm not a hopeful individual normally. It's just that maybe my hopes seem a little more probable now.

Mike and I have had several emotional discussions involving our future and what exactly we want that to be. Of course there is a certain amount of compromise involved, as with any relationship, but, for the most part, we are on the same page. I am pretty resolute on not settling down here in Hawaii. Not that I don't love it here. But when it comes to locations on the mainland compromise plays a huge part.

Compromise is a funny thing. It's necessary in maintaining peace, but it never has a positive connotation. Neither party will ever admit it, but it means that no one is entirely happy. Of course, when it comes to love, happiness can also be gained from seeing your significant other happy. When it comes to your choice for where to eat dinner it's a little less significant than more pressing life choices. And it seems that with larger choices, like where to buy a house and raise a family, that even with compromise somebody is always a little more satisfied than the other.

In this case, I'm not sure who that is?

Mike has said that he'd be happy staying in Hawaii. He's also said he's open to moving. He also loves me and would honestly move to the moon if I wanted. Which sounds completely awesome, in theory, if only I weren't willing to do anything to see him happy. So we compromise. I get to be on the mainland, within a plane ticket to my parents and a long car ride to my sister. I get seasons. We're also relatively close to his family, when and if we ever decide to venture down that crazy road. Plus, he gets to be a California resident again. (He's also super stoked about my attaining that status. I'm just sort of whatever about it lol.) It's exciting and clearly just in the discussion phase still, but it's a more serious discussion than it would have been a year ago. And that's something. Hopefully a year from now it'll be even more real.

So what does everyone think of South Lake Tahoe?????

wish i was going to the chapel today

Emily got married today.

It kills me that I wasn't there. And yet somehow I feel like I'm being overly dramatic. I texted Andy and my brother from another mother about taking extra pictures and I felt as though I was overstepping my bounds. Or just being needy. Or exhausting.

I'm viewed as an important guest that just couldn't make it. Not as the best friend that tried their hardest to be there, but had to pay their rent instead. Then again, I'm not even standing up in the damn thing.

Let's be clear. Emily will be my maid of honor. Strike that, now matron of honor.

Friendship has changed for me out here. Not so much the definition, just the quantity and quality, which is why I still value certain friendships so highly after all this time.

is that too much to ask?

Damn Hawaii and it's inability to provide a Wendy's that doesn't require an hour bus ride.



All I want is to dip my fries in a Frosty.

love is...

Love is plucking each other's eyebrows regularly so you don't go out into society looking like a hot mess.

i remember when men gave her clammy hands

Emily's wedding is at the end of this month. I have been looking forward to this for months, setting aside bits of cash in order to make it happen. Not to give the impression that I've ever been one of those girls to daydream over those nauseating details of which color pink and what kind of lace to choose. I'm much more practical when it comes to envisioning my own nuptials. But were I in Michigan, I would have been more than willing to participate in wedding planning with her. The simple fact that I won't be there to see it kills me.

I would have loved to have Mike go with me, to show him off and have him meet all the people near and dear to me, but that was never really feasible. And now it seems that my attendance isn't feasible either.

The rsvp was due at the beginning of this month and, despite knowing for quite some time that I couldn't attend, I just couldn't bring myself to mail that definitive "no" to her. I kept hoping for something, for this hurts me more than she knows. Somehow, it's harder to take than anything else I've missed out on living this far from the world I knew. I didn't want to disappoint...or possibly I was afraid that I was more disappointed than she.

I love Hawaii, but at this point I'm almost resenting it for keeping me so far from the things that mean so much to me. I don't want to live in Michigan, but I don't want to live somewhere where I feel cut off either.

and to think she licks my hand with that mouth

Lucy just scarfed down a gecko. It was both the most revolting and the most mesmerizing thing I've ever seen. I really barely even have words.

flying robo-kitty!

This video leaves me speechless. Mostly because I'm laughing so hard. Which is completely inappropriate.



If Lucy pees on anything else I think this is what her future holds.


And I just realized my last post talked about cat pee. Awkward.

kickass new job

For some reason, I have been granted with Saturdays off for the last few months. I am not entirely sure whether this is a gift bestowed upon me from the restaurant gods that be (and that I also secretly hate) or if it's a test devised to determine whether or not I can amuse myself like a normal person for an entire day.

So tonight I got drunk, supposedly in celebration of my kickass new job. (Really, the best excuse for drunkenness since Mike's bday earlier this month.) And bought Indian food for dinner, which was pretty much the most delicious thing I've eaten for quite some time.

Huzzah!

is it just me or...

Guavas smell like cat pee. My cab to work today smelled like guava. Therefore, my ride to work smelled like cat piss. This does not bode well for my night.

so basically this post is pointless...

Should the fact that I can't even make it through Dexter's opening credits sequence (specifically the part where he cuts himself shaving) without fast-forwarding deter me from pursuing a Master's in nursing? Okay, that's misleading. It's not that I find it all that gory. I mean, I watch Grey's anatomy on a regular basis without flinching. It just makes me question whether I could stomach the job.

Needles freak me out. Is that gonna be a problem?

Mind you, I have plenty of time to figure it out. I've already enrolled at UH once, but just couldn't afford tuition. Because I already have a degree, they won't give me financial aid until I get into the nursing program, which leaves me with four really expensive classes and no money to pay for them. Soooooo unless anyone would like to pay me for, I dunno, writing, I won't be a student any time soon anyways.

doctor, i can't stop eating brains, what's wrong with me?

Okay, are people just allowed to make up whatever diseases they want now?

World’s 15 Weirdest Diseases & Medical Conditions

I know I've mentioned Alien Hand Syndrome before, because it's obviously fascinating. And, if you're anything like me, kind of hilarious when you think about it. (If anyone reading this knows someone suffering from this condition, please disregard the last sentence.) Actually, I've heard of quite a few of these and acknowledge they're legit. But if you really think you're a zombie, I don't think you have a syndrome. You're probably just crazy. Perhaps you should seek medication.

And where do I go to contract the Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome? I want that one.


Disclaimer: Just because I found the idea of some of these diseases and conditions amusing does not mean I am ignorant of your plight, so please don't be offended if you are someone afflicted by one of these. Except the whole I-think-I'm-a-human-corpse disease, because I'm guessing you don't read blogs. You're probably out searching for brains.

Also, it is pointless to sue me as I have no money.

lucy needs a brother

Today I had, not just one, but two people (one of which being my sister) request that I procreate soon, but I don't think the timing is quite right. Besides, I think Mike would frown upon my sudden discontinued use of birth control without telling him anything. These are generally topics couples choose to discuss together. Unless you're all sorts of crazy.

No, Lucy's brother needs to be a dog. A pug, more specifically. Because pugs are so ugly they're cute. And because, being rather inexperienced in the world of canines, this is one of the few breeds of which I approve.

And because Lucy told me it shall be so. She also told me we should name him Desi.

Get it?

sucking at life

With the exception of my fastidious flossing habits, I suck at adulthood. I really do. I wish I could hire someone to be an adult for me. And it's ironic, because I've always been a responsible individual. A moral and upstanding citizen, if you will. I just somehow suck at being a grown up.

minorities deserve the whitest whites too

So either this is a really big oversight on Clorox's part or...

they're just racist.

lucy and her marukai shopping basket

My cat frequently partakes in some rather odd and/or pretty cute activities and I figured it was time to document them.

An Asian market plastic shopping basket? Possibly a little random to have one lying around the house, but we happened to end up coming home with one after helping a friend sort through the miscellaneous piles of crap he had acquired in the storage room of his recently closed bar. The bar had just happened to be located next to an Asian market. This basket was merely a means of transporting some of said miscellaneous crap (none of which we needed and most of which we have since thrown out) back to our apartment.

But the Marukai basket remains because Lucy loves the thing. She naps in it. She just sits in it, as is shown in the picture, as though it has magical powers that prevent us from seeing her. She tries to dig a hole to China in the bottom. She just loves the thing.

She has a history of sitting (or as she sees it, hiding) in various objects. Like the Modelo box that was sitting by the front door, waiting to be taken to the dumpster.

I had no idea she was even in there until I walked by and she popped her head out like a whack-a-mole.

Then there was the plastic trash bag that she somehow thought we couldn't see through. Needless to say, her sneak attack was not very sneaky.

Lucy also quacks. I'm not kidding. When she gets really excited, like when you're getting her food, she runs after you and meows these abbreviated meows that sound like quacks.

It's like having a cat and a duck in one.

call the popo, ho!

After years of recovering from a lackluster high school experience plagued by social awkwardness, I have apparently finally reached the epitome of cool. I had the cops called on me! Booyah, take that!

Betcha no one saw that coming...

If only it were that exciting. No, Mike and I had the cops called on us for taking a shower at midnight. Not a sexy shower (insert porn music here), mind you. Just a regular shower after both having worked over 10 hours that day. Within a minute of turning off the water there was a knock at the door. Mike goes to answer the door, still in his towel, as I cower out of sight in the bedroom.

Popo: "Hi, we've received a noise complaint about you." Awkward silence as cop obviously takes in Mike's wet hair and towel. "Umm, did you just get out of the shower?"

Mike: "Yeah, we just got home not too long ago. We were both at work all day."

Popo: "Oh...umm, okay." Awkward pause while cop wonders what the fuck he's doing there. "Just, umm, keep it down, okay? Have a nice night."

So either the cop thought we were having loud shower sex (which is what everyone else assumes when I tell them this story) or he realizes that my neighbors are all ridiculously hypocritical assholes.

If only their assholishness stopped here.

when mutant bugs attack

The only thing worse than being attacked by an unknown species of mutant tropical insect while sleeping in your own bed? Having every single person you know call it a hickey.

I am a lady, people! If I did indeed receive a hickey, my man would know to keep it hidden from public view! ‎
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Looks like I'll be sporting a side pony for the next week or two...

omg did i really just see that happen? is anyone else seeing this?

Okay, it's storytime, boys and girls. Today in Barnes and Noble Ala Moana a mahu (assisted by two friends, one of which was also a mahu) changed her clothes in the middle of the children's section. I could've never predicted a more entertaining start to the new year. It was like a gift from God.

I wish I had photographic evidence. I tried, but it would've been too obvious.

Let me preface this by stating that there were no children in the area at the time of these events. ‎

1. Take leopard print heels off. ‎
2. Remove booty shorts with broken fly, revealing nude colored satin granny panties. ‎
3. Bend over to search through purse, leaving nothing to audience's imagination. Definitely pre-op, my friends. ‎
4. Sit down on the floor to pull on fishnets. ‎
5. After finally noticing stares of disapproval (and even one older man storming off, muttering about hell and the declining state of society) comment, "Wait, is this inappropriate or something? Should we go to the bathroom?" ‎
6. Squeeze yourself into new denim booty shorts with faded stars on them a la 1995. ‎
7. Take off shirt to reveal black strapless bra. ‎
8. Have your friends help you squeeze into flowered bustier, because that's what friends are for. ‎
9. Finish with a black fringy shawl/jacket thing...because, after all, you're a lady. ‎
10. Get admonished by another employee for sitting on the floor. Because the only thing that pisses off Barnes and Noble more than stripping down to your skivvies in public is sitting on their floor. ‎
11. Put heels back on. ‎
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It was like watching a train wreck. Except more appropriate to laugh at because no one died.