kickass new job

For some reason, I have been granted with Saturdays off for the last few months. I am not entirely sure whether this is a gift bestowed upon me from the restaurant gods that be (and that I also secretly hate) or if it's a test devised to determine whether or not I can amuse myself like a normal person for an entire day.

So tonight I got drunk, supposedly in celebration of my kickass new job. (Really, the best excuse for drunkenness since Mike's bday earlier this month.) And bought Indian food for dinner, which was pretty much the most delicious thing I've eaten for quite some time.

Huzzah!

is it just me or...

Guavas smell like cat pee. My cab to work today smelled like guava. Therefore, my ride to work smelled like cat piss. This does not bode well for my night.

so basically this post is pointless...

Should the fact that I can't even make it through Dexter's opening credits sequence (specifically the part where he cuts himself shaving) without fast-forwarding deter me from pursuing a Master's in nursing? Okay, that's misleading. It's not that I find it all that gory. I mean, I watch Grey's anatomy on a regular basis without flinching. It just makes me question whether I could stomach the job.

Needles freak me out. Is that gonna be a problem?

Mind you, I have plenty of time to figure it out. I've already enrolled at UH once, but just couldn't afford tuition. Because I already have a degree, they won't give me financial aid until I get into the nursing program, which leaves me with four really expensive classes and no money to pay for them. Soooooo unless anyone would like to pay me for, I dunno, writing, I won't be a student any time soon anyways.

doctor, i can't stop eating brains, what's wrong with me?

Okay, are people just allowed to make up whatever diseases they want now?

World’s 15 Weirdest Diseases & Medical Conditions

I know I've mentioned Alien Hand Syndrome before, because it's obviously fascinating. And, if you're anything like me, kind of hilarious when you think about it. (If anyone reading this knows someone suffering from this condition, please disregard the last sentence.) Actually, I've heard of quite a few of these and acknowledge they're legit. But if you really think you're a zombie, I don't think you have a syndrome. You're probably just crazy. Perhaps you should seek medication.

And where do I go to contract the Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome? I want that one.


Disclaimer: Just because I found the idea of some of these diseases and conditions amusing does not mean I am ignorant of your plight, so please don't be offended if you are someone afflicted by one of these. Except the whole I-think-I'm-a-human-corpse disease, because I'm guessing you don't read blogs. You're probably out searching for brains.

Also, it is pointless to sue me as I have no money.

lucy needs a brother

Today I had, not just one, but two people (one of which being my sister) request that I procreate soon, but I don't think the timing is quite right. Besides, I think Mike would frown upon my sudden discontinued use of birth control without telling him anything. These are generally topics couples choose to discuss together. Unless you're all sorts of crazy.

No, Lucy's brother needs to be a dog. A pug, more specifically. Because pugs are so ugly they're cute. And because, being rather inexperienced in the world of canines, this is one of the few breeds of which I approve.

And because Lucy told me it shall be so. She also told me we should name him Desi.

Get it?

sucking at life

With the exception of my fastidious flossing habits, I suck at adulthood. I really do. I wish I could hire someone to be an adult for me. And it's ironic, because I've always been a responsible individual. A moral and upstanding citizen, if you will. I just somehow suck at being a grown up.

minorities deserve the whitest whites too

So either this is a really big oversight on Clorox's part or...

they're just racist.

lucy and her marukai shopping basket

My cat frequently partakes in some rather odd and/or pretty cute activities and I figured it was time to document them.

An Asian market plastic shopping basket? Possibly a little random to have one lying around the house, but we happened to end up coming home with one after helping a friend sort through the miscellaneous piles of crap he had acquired in the storage room of his recently closed bar. The bar had just happened to be located next to an Asian market. This basket was merely a means of transporting some of said miscellaneous crap (none of which we needed and most of which we have since thrown out) back to our apartment.

But the Marukai basket remains because Lucy loves the thing. She naps in it. She just sits in it, as is shown in the picture, as though it has magical powers that prevent us from seeing her. She tries to dig a hole to China in the bottom. She just loves the thing.

She has a history of sitting (or as she sees it, hiding) in various objects. Like the Modelo box that was sitting by the front door, waiting to be taken to the dumpster.

I had no idea she was even in there until I walked by and she popped her head out like a whack-a-mole.

Then there was the plastic trash bag that she somehow thought we couldn't see through. Needless to say, her sneak attack was not very sneaky.

Lucy also quacks. I'm not kidding. When she gets really excited, like when you're getting her food, she runs after you and meows these abbreviated meows that sound like quacks.

It's like having a cat and a duck in one.